The Lesson I Learned From A Disastrous Interview

On Remembering Who You Are

Before I tell you about the gut-wrenching, vomit-worthy, crawl-into-a-ball-and-die interview experience I had lately, let me back up a little.

I was, until recently, a 32 year old Italian-born American living in Arizona, stuck in a relationship with no future and a service industry job I was tired of, with no health-insurance and only a pretty useless degree.

So I did the only wise thing I could think of: I jumped on a plane to Paris ready to start my life over.

“I have a pretty decent level of French” I told myself “and a double citizenship. I’ll find a job easily speaking both English and Italian. I will be fine.”

Now, fresh of the plane, I spent the first month in the City of Light living it up. Museum, baguettes, fromages, croissants and drinks by the river Seine were my constant companions.

But soon, my savings account sadly depleted, I started looking for a job.

“Not the service industry. ANYTHING but the service industry. I am 32. I need to start earning some real money.”

With that thought in mind, and my trusted childhood friend as an ally, lawyer and resume editor, I started to dive into that obscure ocean that is the job marketplace.

I am not proud to confess that I applied for corporate jobs that are not suited to my personality type, not in line with my passions and in fact everything I normally despise.

But I went with it.

I thought: I’ll fake it. I can pretend to be somebody else to get these jobs. I’ll prepare myself and be to be whoever they want me to be.

So I applied as a for a startup that is growing like crazy, making billions, while putting photographers out of a job: Meero.

It’s disguised as a “onboarding” and “training” job, but in reality it is nothing but a telemarketer job, convincing photographers Meero works for them while the opposite is true, trying to con them into a game they cannot win.

I get a first phone interview. I tell myself, sure, I can put my ethics aside and play their game.

So I wait nervously for the call I know is coming at 4pm. I wait. I wait.

At 4:10, the phone rings.

A frenchman says his name and begins by letting me know the number I put on the resume is wrong.

He asks me about the company. I have done my homework. I think I’m doing alright for a while until he asks me coldly if I’d prefer answering the questions in English. “If you understand the questions in French” he tells me.

The anxiety is mounting. I’m fuming. I switch to English. I try to pretend I can sell.

I try, I fail.

He wants me to tell him something I don’t believe, and I realize in that instant, I don’t know how to do it.

Instead of selling myself, I tell him angrily I can do the job. I want him and his patronizing tone to get off my back. He keeps asking me if I understand the question, that he repeats in dubious English.

In that moment I feel like the most unqualified person on the planet. In the moment I literally am the most unqualified person on the planet.

He hangs up.

I laugh. Then cry. Then spend the next 24 hours feeling worthless.

Until it hits me: you can never win by faking who you are.

Even if I had somehow gotten myself gracefully through that interview, what would have been the best outcome? I would have gotten a job in something that ultimately I don’t want or believe in.

It is not worth it. Even for a paycheck.

If you have to fake yourself into any one thing, that means it was never for you. And this doesn’t only apply to jobs, but to all life’s endeavors.

Don’t ever think you can put who you are aside for someone or something else. It never works, the truth will always ask for its freedom.

At best, you find yourself with a failed interview, at worse with a whole life that is built on lies.

Do yourself a favor: be who you are and do what you truly believe in, and you will never fail.

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