How Gossiping Destroyed The First Two Friendships Of My Life

It’s not as harmless as it seems…

If you were to tell me that you’ve never fallen into the trap of gossiping about someone, I don’t think I would believe you. It’s natural to talk about other people, and it’s something that can bond two people who have no other common interests. Sometimes it can even give you a feeling that can only be described as “a high.”

I always thought that it was harmless, until I lost my childhood best friends from it.

While growing up in a small town in Arizona I connected with two girls when I was around ten. I’ll refer to them as Julia and Sophie.

We compared ourselves to the girls in the sisterhood of the traveling pants and actually bought a pair of pants that we wrote on and would each wear. We spent almost every weekend together, and they’re in almost all of my childhood memories.

The three of us would hang out together or we would hang out 1–1. As with many groups of three, it began innocently enough. I would talk to Sophie about Julia’s affinity to boys and Julia and I would talk about how Sophie seemed to like her swimming friends more and that we were always second choice.

As the years wore on there was never any blow ups, or drama because we kept it under the surface. The things I told Sophie about Julia, Sophie told Julie and vice-versa. We would judge each other’s relationships, lives, jobs, beliefs, anything we could think of.

We were codependent and needy. I had constant anxiety that something would happen to our friendship because I didn’t know how my life would ever go on without them.

Eventually the cracks began to show. We starting cutting each other out. We started hanging out with other people. And then after a few months Julia ended our friendship over text, as she and Sophie decided I was going to be the one that didn’t continue in their lives.

I can’t even remember why we fought to be honest. My parents went through a divorce and they kicked me out of the friend group because of reasons I honestly barely recall. I…

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