On Creating Love When We Feel Unlovable

Love is our birthright should we choose ourselves.

There are days when loving ourselves is difficult, and the emptiness inside takes over. Humans are hardwired to dwell on the negative and brush off moments of happiness.

This week, I collected wins: a client had a breakthrough, I got a new client published my 200th article and obtained a top writer tag. I was on an emotional high, I knew I deserved the fruits of the work I have put in for both my clients and myself.

Yet, the happiness was short-lived, because it dawned on me I did not have a special someone to share it with. And for a brief moment, all the wins felt null. And I felt unloveable.

As a coach who appreciates my self-worth, I also acknowledge that I am human and flawed. And so, I have found ways to come back to myself:

Positive affirmations are great at overcoming negative self-talk. We often question ourselves repeatedly and self-doubt creeps in.

This is why affirmations work: to drill down deep into our subconscious, feelings of worthiness and belonging.

During painful moments or when the emptiness is simply unbearable, double or triple the number and frequency of mantras.

To alter the state of negativity that can quickly spiral, these one-liners are important to shift our state of consciousness.

Every day, repeat ‘I am’ affirmations until you believe them. Practice feeling lovable until you believe it.

I am all for patting myself on the back and celebrating the small wins. But we are also humans, and designed for connection.

We want to support and be supported. We want to belong and be acknowledged, to know that our successes matter.

Joy is abundant and available to everyone, and so is love. Sadly those with a scarcity mindset cannot see the world in terms of the abundance of kindness, love and happiness.

If ever you feel unlovable because of somebody, please remind yourself that people who cannot love you cannot…

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